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As beads of blood bleeding red run down my arm, 

The arm of flesh has failed me once again

And once again I am left alone 

Alone with my thoughts, contemplating the complexities of a simple word… No. 

Knowing that the truth was all a lie, I lie here listening to the sound of my own hearts irrythemical beating as the blood it pumps pours out through emotional gashes across my left breast.

Gashes that only I can see and feel, invisible enough to conceal with a smile 

So I smile. Even when it hurts, see, I smile

Even when I can’t breathe, I smile

Even when my world is falling apart, I smile 

Even as the life drains from my body, I smile 

Because a simple smile conceals a large myriad of emotions which flood me, 

like the calm sea with its deadly undercurrents I am currently drowning in my own pain with no lifeline or rescue boat so I smile. 

Knowing that the only escape to my predicament is a permanent solution and though some may think it’s a temporary problem…

“… The sea is calm today…”

The sea is never calm

She just looks calm sometimes 

Her raging currents can wreck ships and drown men 

But she knows that as terrifying as she may be

People are always attracted to a smile. 

And so she smiles

Beckoning both the simpleton and the adventurer to come unto her

Welcoming them with open arms

Leading them to believe that the turmoil they once saw was a temporary problem…

But be not deceived 

Like the raging sea, I smile

And as I lie here staring at the beads of Blood like Crimson tears running down my arm

I realise that it would have been okay to cry sometimes