by The Derah


Wouldn’t it be better to allow this story describe itself in its own words?


Content used with permission from the author.

For more works by The Derah, visit https://infernorains.wordpress.com

Chapter 1: Anger.

This was what I felt whenever I thought about him. The energy that surrounded my heart at the mention of his name was so powerful that it made me upset. If anyone had told me I would feel any sort of emotion for anyone, I’d laugh so hard they’d probably be embarrassed.

Today, I had developed affection for a soul who was a humble recluse. And I detested it big time. Couldn’t a girl just be on her own, wanting no man or the sadness that came with loving them?

You see, I had lived singled for many years. Years enough for a kid to transcend from his teenage self to adulthood. And I found tranquility in that zone; no lies, no pain, no tantrums, emotion-void. Bliss. I was my own partner, doing things and being self-sufficient.

But many of my few friends disagreed. They’d drop hints of being involved with men and I would just sweep it into the trash. Be open-minded, they said. What they didn’t understand was the past taught me hard lessons and I wasn’t ready to read any book that had those lessons in them anymore.

One book was all it took for me.

Chapter 2: Him.

There was something I sensed when we spoke at length. Irrespective of my hiatus in the affairs of the opposite sex, there were certain things well-known about the male tribe. When a guy expresses his feelings for a girl, chances are his claims are backed up by his actions. With him, there were questions. Many questions.

He was a good person. Or is, as the case may be. I wasn’t getting butterflies like other girls did, but our conversations went in all directions – endearment, reality, laughter, jests – and it was worrisome to me. I couldn’t handle sharing emotions with any other than my real partner, me.

Describing our second kiss would be unfair. In that instance, I felt a passion rush which I allowed my lips express. Standing beside the waters with the cold breeze were two people who didn’t care about the people around them.

Sigh. This was hard. Bad that I liked him to a certain extent, worse that I may not listen to my head telling me to detach while the emotions were still fresh and were yet to morph into love.

Chapter 3: Exit.

What was this saying about never giving up till you tried long enough?

Neither of us were ready to visit Committment. Or so I thought. In asking multitude of questions for the sole purpose of clarity, I discovered answers that were a far cry from the patterns that existed. Believe you me when I say patterns were something I trusted in this cold world.

If there was anything I didn’t want, it was not being met a little close to halfway. Yes, I was upset I felt something for a dude, I even wanted to kill it. But I could swear there was a small sound that would have fought if his actions showed a consistency in this love play.

There was one thing I knew – Certain things born without my consent – affection currently – needed to be crushed totally.

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