by The Derah

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Synopsis:

Wouldn’t it be better to allow this story describe itself in its own words?

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Content used with permission from the author.

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For more works by The Derah, visit https://infernorains.wordpress.com

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Chapter 1: Anger.

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This was what I felt whenever I thought about him. The energy that surrounded my heart at the mention of his name was so powerful that it made me upset. If anyone had told me I would feel any sort of emotion for anyone, I’d laugh so hard they’d probably be embarrassed.

Today, I had developed affection for a soul who was a humble recluse. And I detested it big time. Couldn’t a girl just be on her own, wanting no man or the sadness that came with loving them?

You see, I had lived singled for many years. Years enough for a kid to transcend from his teenage self to adulthood. And I found tranquility in that zone; no lies, no pain, no tantrums, emotion-void. Bliss. I was my own partner, doing things and being self-sufficient.

But many of my few friends disagreed. They’d drop hints of being involved with men and I would just sweep it into the trash. Be open-minded, they said. What they didn’t understand was the past taught me hard lessons and I wasn’t ready to read any book that had those lessons in them anymore.

One book was all it took for me.

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Chapter 2: Him.

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There was something I sensed when we spoke at length. Irrespective of my hiatus in the affairs of the opposite sex, there were certain things well-known about the male tribe. When a guy expresses his feelings for a girl, chances are his claims are backed up by his actions. With him, there were questions. Many questions.

He was a good person. Or is, as the case may be. I wasn’t getting butterflies like other girls did, but our conversations went in all directions – endearment, reality, laughter, jests – and it was worrisome to me. I couldn’t handle sharing emotions with any other than my real partner, me.

Describing our second kiss would be unfair. In that instance, I felt a passion rush which I allowed my lips express. Standing beside the waters with the cold breeze were two people who didn’t care about the people around them.

Sigh. This was hard. Bad that I liked him to a certain extent, worse that I may not listen to my head telling me to detach while the emotions were still fresh and were yet to morph into love.

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Chapter 3: Exit.

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What was this saying about never giving up till you tried long enough?

Neither of us were ready to visit Committment. Or so I thought. In asking multitude of questions for the sole purpose of clarity, I discovered answers that were a far cry from the patterns that existed. Believe you me when I say patterns were something I trusted in this cold world.

If there was anything I didn’t want, it was not being met a little close to halfway. Yes, I was upset I felt something for a dude, I even wanted to kill it. But I could swear there was a small sound that would have fought if his actions showed a consistency in this love play.

There was one thing I knew – Certain things born without my consent – affection currently – needed to be crushed totally.