“What is the way to be emotionally strong in life?”

Emotional strength can imply many things.

Sometimes people take emotional strength to be not letting things get to you.

What I’ve learnt in life is that being emotionally strong is not about not feeling emotions, it’s about understanding and dealing rightly with them.

Your emotions are not random. Anger, pain, joy, frustration, they’re all indicators of something. They’re the way your mind and body send you a message about something going right or wrong. Becoming emotionally strong is being able to interpret that message and deal with the underlying cause.

For example, you might feel hurt every time someone calls you names (I know it isn’t the best example but yeah). What you would need to do is ask yourself, “why am I hurt about this?”

Your answer will help you to further understand what the feeling of hurt is actually trying to tell you about yourself. It might be that it affects your self esteem and so you need to give that a boost.

You see, the emotion in itself is not the main thing, it’s a messenger, an indicator of something else. Understanding the message your emotions are sending will better help you deal with the cause of them and thereby help you control them.

This is true emotional strength. It’s not about suppression, but understanding and expression. Understanding what they are telling you will help you channel and express them better.

Another example which is personal to me; I cry a lot. Well not really a lot, but I tend to cry when I get angry and I withdraw when I get upset. Understanding that my tears are caused mostly by anger has helped me develop ways to deal with my anger when it arises so I don’t always end up crying.

I’ve got myself a stress ball, I’ve got a little sketch pad I take around with me to draw in and a little notepad I write my emotions in when I get angry. Because of that, people around me have commented that I’m emotionally stronger but, the truth is, nothing has really changed except that I now understand why I cry and so I deal with it better.

It makes it easier if you get to the root cause of the situation and not just deal with channelling the emotion because then, the emotion doesn’t arise. But then again, try whatever works for you.

Just remember, the strongest people feel the deepest emotions. Strength isn’t about what you don’t experience, it’s about what you experience and overcome. You’re much stronger than you know.

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